Finding Purpose Through Broken Dreams

Philippians 1:19 - 26

“For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you. And being confident of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy of faith, that your rejoicing for me may be more abundant in Jesus Christ by my coming to you again.”

I have often wondered why God allowed Dad to live and to suffer as long as he did. The last few years were very challenging for him. From a physical health perspective, he went from a cane to a walker, to crutches, to a wheelchair and eventually to a hospital bed in our home.

Have you ever asked God “why?” Of course you have; we all have. And so did Dad. He loved Jesus and he wondered why God was leaving him here on this earth with all this suffering. Dad often questioned through journaling about his purpose in life. It wasn’t until the latter years that he could articulate the answer. It didn’t all come at once; over time God revealed His plan for him to understand. 

The learning process for understanding God’s purpose for Dad’s life started with the loss of a dream. Not long after Dad graduated from high school, he enrolled at Memphis State College, now called The University of Memphis. Dad loved reading, learning, writing and desperately wanted to get a college education. He began taking classes in the School of Education. His plans were to get a degree in Education and attend seminary. Dad sensed the call of God on his life to ministry and was excited to pursue education and training. However, he hit a roadblock. The fall semester of 1955, Dad was very sick with several bleeds and missed more than the allotted number of absences. Because of the sickness, he was behind in his classes and eventually was forced to withdraw from school. Once he recovered, he set up an appointment with his advisor to share his future plans. 

The advisor, however, did not validate Dad’s goals. He not only discouraged Dad from re-enrolling that semester, he also discouraged him from pursuing a college degree, a teaching certificate, and church vocational ministry. Dad wrote this in his journal, “I never even thought of not accomplishing what I felt was God’s will and my destiny.” What a blow he must have felt as his dreams were confronted with an attitude of fatalism. Dad’s journal is filled with his discouragement, resentment and bitterness toward his advisor.

At one point in their conversation, Dad asked him a question, “Am I right about what you have said, that if I come four years to Memphis State and finish all the required subjects to teach secondary education, it is very doubtful I will be allowed to teach because I have hemophilia?”

His professor’s answer was devastating.

“That is correct.” 

In Dad’s mind this advisor spoke with credibility and authority, and without a healthy self-esteem and mentorship, Dad believed he was speaking the truth. He never received his college degree, never pursued seminary or a ministry position in a church. As time progressed and employment laws were enacted to help those with physical limitations and disabilities, Dad expressed gratitude for the opportunities given to the generations who would follow him.

A lingering question remained for Dad. “What is God’s purpose for my life?” It is a great question for all of us to consider. However, we often look for the answer in the wrong places. Dad was searching for God’s purpose in his vocation, and as a result, the advisor’s words were confusing and disheartening.  Dad had to face a few questions. He wrote,

• “Could it be that God’s purpose for my life is not at all related to work?”

• “Is it possible that God’s purpose for me is higher than earthly work?”

What if your job or a dream you are hoping for was suddenly taken away? Does that mean you misinterpreted God’s purpose for your life? I can certainly attest to the fact that I have wondered about God’s purpose for me when unexpected job changes and transitions have occurred. I suspect many of you might relate.

After years of searching and seeking, Dad found the answer to his question. Make no mistake about it, the purpose of life is found in I Corinthians 10:31,

“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all things for the glory of God.” 

This verse is written repeatedly in Dad’s journal and, I believe, became an “aha moment”for him.  Dad was walking this life of faith, but looking for answers in the wrong place. And when he found the answer, his heart was settled.

If you are a believer in Christ, your purpose is the glory of God. 

Yes, we are to grow in our faith.  Yes, we are to share the gospel with others. And yes, we are to serve and give. But the bottom line for all of those behaviors is the glory of God.

In the 8 - 10 years prior to Dad’s retirement, one of his most rewarding activities was studying and teaching God’s Word to others. He taught Sunday School and discipleship classes at church and Bible studies in our home. Truthfully, I cannot remember a time, prior to his retirement, that Dad wasn’t teaching. He was an avid student of the Bible and because of his wisdom, God used him to encourage and train others, to develop leaders, and counsel men on how to have a deeper faith. Teaching the Bible was a passion for Dad and when his mobility significantly declined, men would find their way to our home to meet with Dad one on one. 

Once Dad retired, these opportunities waned and he found himself with a lot of time on his hands in a hospital bed at our home. Mom and I would head off to work and school each day leaving him at home alone. His mobility reached a point to which he could no longer drive. Dad found his inner man searching and longing to serve. He missed relationships with others and yet he found peace in knowing that while he lived on, he would trust God day by day. 

At the encouragement of my mom, Dad began to write. I have countless pages of Dad’s thoughts, feelings, prayers and wishes. In addition, I am fortunate to have a few of his Bibles and his Bible study notes. They are full of information but more importantly, they are full of truths Dad was learning and applying to his life. In one section of his notes he writes down his aspirations. So try and picture Dad, no longer able to work, no longer able to teach, and his primary existence confined to a hospital bed. It was in this setting that Dad wrote this, “So after years of searching for what God’s will is, [I’ve discovered that] the first priority is to glorify God and his Son. It is very clear that the taproot purpose of my existence is just what the Westminster Shorter Catechism says, ‘to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever!” 

There it is. Dad’s heart was for his life to glorify God in all things! With that discovery Dad experienced victory and true freedom - maybe for the first time. Listen to his own words, “So in my search of 52 years trying to find something wonderful and dramatic for me to do in God’s will, I missed the obvious which is to glorify God in each and every segment of my life.” Life’s purpose is not found in our vocation, our service, our success, our position, or even our family. It can only be realized in glorifying God. 

Dad had come to know just what the verse in Philippians says, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Dad had come to embrace this truth, believing God still had a plan. 

But there was one final blessing for Dad to experience, and I hope you will join me next week as I introduce someone special for you to hear from about this blessing. 

Think About It

• Think about a time when you were disappointed (or maybe even devastated) from a dream being crushed.  How did you handle it?  Are you still searching to fulfill that dream, or one like it?

• The mundaneness of life can sometimes wear us down.  How can you apply the principle of “glorifying God and enjoying Him” to your daily routine?

Pray

Spend a few moments asking God to help you re-focus your hopes and dreams - your purpose in life - to be one of glorifying God in everything you do. Ask Him to give you an opportunity today to move from unbelief to belief that God has a plan for you and he will accomplish it. You may need to surrender your idea of how the dream will look, but God’s plan for you will always be even better than what we can dream up for ourselves.