Standing Near the Cross: Caryl Easterday Smith
II Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.
In a few short weeks, my mom, Caryl Smith will be 85 years old. If you read my dad's story that I wrote last year, then you will know a little bit about Mom. With all that Dad went through and with all the personal health and financial challenges that came, Mom found herself regularly standing by the cross. Let me tell you more of her story.
Have you ever heard someone say, “I didn’t sign up for this”? I suspect you have heard that phrase or even said it yourself. It simply means that whatever the difficulty you are facing, this is not what you envisioned and not what you would have wanted. Therefore, you didn’t sign up for that trouble. Well, for Mom, it is just the opposite. From the beginning of their marriage, she signed up for a life of trouble and challenges. I will not restate all that is in last year’s blog about my dad. But for those of you that don’t know, when my mom married my dad, she married a man with a life-long disease that would only worsen as time passed. She knew that full well when she went into the marriage. She knew what lay ahead was a life of suffering, pain and loss. And every bit of that occurred…and more. Mom knew full well what she was getting into when she married Dad and she chose to go into the marriage with joy, hope and love. From the very beginning, she found herself standing near the cross of Jesus.
Maybe you are facing something today that you either did or did not “sign up for.” I hope you will find yourself standing near the cross.
It is one thing to face a major health crisis with a family member, but it is a whole other issue, when it hits you. That became my mom’s next opportunity to stand near the cross of Jesus and cling to Him when life took a bad turn. At the age of 35, nearly 50 years ago for my mom, she received the news that she had breast cancer. The load of sickness that she carried with my dad only became heavier. The end result was a radical mastectomy. You are probably asking yourself, how could this be? Not only was she bearing the sickness and pain of Dad, now she had her own sickness to navigate. But it didn’t end there. More was to come.
Whenever I think about Mom and all that she faced, I think of James 1:2 - 4, “Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” Mom faced an abundance of trials and difficulties and up to now, most of those had to do with her and Dad’s health challenges, notably, cancer and hemophilia. From there it would only worsen. Dad’s health continued to decline, even more rapidly, and so did other things as a result. Dad eventually took disability and was in a hospital bed at the house. And the weight this put on Mom grew heavier. Sickness, disability, and serious financial restraints were the norm. Yet through it all, Mom walked in the amazing grace of God and she did so by standing near the cross of Jesus.
Then the day came when Mom said goodbye to Dad. Years of pain ended for Dad as he stepped from this earth into eternity with Jesus. No more pain, no more hemorrhages, no more struggles; for Dad. He was whole and in the presence of Jesus. But not for Mom; difficulties continued and she was now managing those difficulties without her husband by her side. Now there was a new set of fears, anxieties, and troubles. And Mom faced enduring those alone. Oh yes, Gina and I were there for her, but at the end of every day, it was just mom in an empty house.
Yet, I have to tell you I never saw her running away from Jesus. Mom faced every setback, every detour, every mountain, and every challenge standing near the cross of Jesus. And her faith today is strong because of that decision to stay close to Jesus.
Before I end today, I want you to know that it is not at all a sad story for Mom. In fact, it wasn’t too long after Dad died that we welcomed someone new into the family, in fact two new people, my daughter Anna came along in 1991 and my son Will came along in 1992. And from there mom threw herself into being a grandmother, all while continuing to work full-time. She was not only standing near the cross, she was standing near the cross as a grandmother.
Pictured -
Will’s Family: Liam (2), Kailtin, Patrick (4), Will, Elizabeth (5);
Anna’s Family: Manning (6), Anna, Ellie (4), Nate, Tate (3)
And today, Mom lives with us in Georgia. She is now a great-grandmother of SIX! She loves them immensely, and THEY LOVE HER! I have to admit that when they come to our house one of the very first questions is “Can we go down to Gran’s?” She entertains them with beanie babies she saved for 20+ years, tea parties, feeding the birds and squirrels, and candy - there is ALWAYS lots of candy!
Oh - and every greeting pretty much looks like this picture - full of hugs and laughter! Each great-granchild holds a special place in “Gran’s” heart and each of them ADORE her (and her dog, Sugar)!
I asked Mom recently what her favorite Christian song was. Of course she mentioned Amazing Grace; but there is another she also favors. It is called The King Is Coming written by Bill and Gloria Gaither in 1970. If you think about it, this song would, of course, be her favorite. It was written and recorded about the time life was falling apart for mom. The verse that begins “Happy faces line the hallways” probably has a special place in mom’s heart - as it does mine! I suspect this song inspired her to stand near the cross of Jesus and to anxiously watch for His coming.
Whatever you face today, draw near to God by standing near the cross and keep looking upward. Jesus is coming soon!
By the way, remember to write that note to your mom or your wife and give it to her on this upcoming Mother’s Day!
Enjoy the words to The King is Coming as you face this day and all of its adventures! And you can click here to listen to the Gaither Vocal Band sing it too!
Oh, the market place is empty
No more traffic in the streets
All the builders’ tools are silent
No more time to harvest wheat
Busy housewives cease their labors
In the courtrooms, no debate
Work on earth is all suspended
As the King comes through the gateOh, the King is coming
The King is coming
I just heard the trumpet sounding
And now His face I see
Oh, the King is coming
The King is coming
Praise God, He's coming for meAll the railroad cars are empty as they rattle down the tracks
In the newsrooms, no one watches as machines type pointless facts
All the planes veer off their courses
No one sits at the controls
For the King of all the ages comes to claim eternal soulsHappy faces line the hallways
Those whose lives have been redeemed
Broken homes that He has mended
Those from prison He has freed
Little children and the aged
Hand in hand stand all aglow
Who were crippled, broken, ruined
Now they're clad in garments white as snowI can hear the chariots rumble
I can see the marching throng
The flurry of God's trumpets
Spell the end of sin and wrong
Regal robes are now unfolding
Heaven's grandstands all in place
Heaven's choir is now assembled
Start to sing amazing graceOh, the King is coming
The King is coming
I just heard the trumpet sounding
And now His face I see
Oh, the King is coming
The King is coming
Praise God, He's coming for me
Praise God, He's coming for me
-Photo credit to Kierston Parks Photography